Being Good


A person who is nice to you but not to the waiter is not a good person.

Many would have come across this saying. While I came across this it kept me engaged for quite a while. How, in general, in our lives, we judge/opine about the goodness of the persons we come across in our lives? Of course we have an opinion about every individual we came across or interact with. We have some in our good books forever and some, according to us, don’t deserve a place in it. Just contemplating on process of branding someone or anyone for that matter would reveal us that our opinions on others are purely subjective.


Our perception of someone’s personality purely depends on how that person relates to us personally. If he/she is nice to us we brand them goo. On the contrary, they get stamped bad in case they don’t relate us in the other way. We should notice here that it’s not necessary for them to behave bad to be stamped by us but we go on with the stamping if they don’t relate in the way we want them to be. Generally in the judging the personality of an individual every human places himself/herself in the center and every step in perception of others’ characters is based on personal views and observations.


In other words, we paint an incomplete picture of everyone we interact in our lives. You wouldn’t deny the fact that finding a right destination is impossible with an incomplete map. Would you? If so how will we be able to categorize people, based on personality with an incomplete picture in mind?


It’s human nature to crave for appreciation and acceptance. We feel happy for someone who always acknowledges our actions and seldom raise a word against us. Instead a person who is being honest to his/her relationship with us, if disagrees with our views and behavior doesn’t take the same place in our heart initially. However we might perhaps change our picture after benefiting in some ways by lending a ear to their suggestions.


In human relationship it’s important to identify and understand the true intention of people’s responses. In general human perception, the preconceived personality of a person is valued more that what that person is conveying. I would say it’s a real challenge to be good to your friend, since you are perceived by him/her through the ‘preconceived opinion window’. There are many occasions you think against the will of your friend yet remain tight lipped for friendship’s sake. Now I hope you get at where I wish to take you to through this small piece of writing. How will you to react and respond to your friend who is of the track. This is the place where you can self introspect your relationship with them in true colors.


There are some moments where you have to be tough on them which in worst case might affect the relationship irrevocably. You might now second me, I guess. It’s really tough to be good, in the true sense, for being good will welcome more dislikes than likes.


Yet, true friendship cares only for the well-being of the friend and nothing else.


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  • Shweta Dave

    isn’t saying someone is good also being judgmental about him/her. I so agree with your thoughts here, an opinion good or bad is relative…very relative!

  • Saru

    My doctor friend told me that our brain can’t process so much information and hence, we judge people on their behaviour and worse, as you said, how they behave with us. One must learn not to do that, it’s difficult but not impossible.

    A thought provoking read.