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Of all the umpteen lifestyles we differ from each other there is one common problem we stumble upon often in relationships.


Misunderstanding with many human beings we move with, in our lives, every single day seems unavoidable. Human perception is unique. So is the thinking process and emotional levels of the individuals. Just remind yourself of the recent quarrel you had with your parents, friends, spouse, children, and kith and kin; be it anyone for that matters. It might be this just this morning or yesterday.


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Rewind that recent misunderstanding with your beloved one lately. From a third person point of view silently observe the scene, as best as you could remember. It might have had some arguments of course. If there was an argument pay close attention to the way it unfolded. What begins usually as an exchange of words would’ve slowly gone out of control, ended up as word spree. The moment I asked you to pay attention to the arguments you had, I guess you were only keen in remembering the words exchanged and not the intonation in which they were uttered. I would be very happy to hear if my guess was disproved in your case.

Human thought process is closely entwined with the language. We, as adults think and the thought process is realized as words within our minds. But while communicating our thoughts, our emotional part of the brain dominates the intellect, especially during arguments. Also we lose our track on the intonations and voice patterns through which we deliver the words. At the height of the argument, the person with who we have the argument morphs into an opponent in our mental perception and our thoughts are focused only on winning the argument. So our patterns of listening dramatically changes.


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If not for the argument we would’ve listened to the speaker with an open mind. So the spoken words are logically processed by our brain and extract the information it carries. But amid a heated argument this normalcy changes completely. It’s very usual to cross each other’s talking while having an argument. If ever a momentary gap is given that, often, is not to listen, but to wait for the perfect moment to interfere and justify our side. We lose our consciousness of the bond we hold with them for they’ve now reduced to an ‘opponent’- to be won at any cost- in our momentary mental perception.

Every human being remembers the venomous words spitted during a heated exchange only along with the intonations and pattern of voice during delivery of those words.

A calm recollection would make us only think how silly we were to stretch an argument, with them, which might’ve been nabbed in bud if we’re determined.



“A clever person knows what to say; a wise person knows whether to say it or not”.



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